This happens more often than you'd like to think
An unfortunate traveller in need of a drink
But as I propped up the bar at the Weasel and Stoat
Imploring the landlord to moisten my throat
He said "there's no way I'll pour you a beer
you've more than outstayed your welcome here
your pockets are as empty as the space in your head
and your bar tab is bigger than, well, your head"
A shifty-looking fellow sidled up to the bar
He said "stick with me kid, and you will go far
you see, I'm a demon, and if you scratch my back
I'll scratch yours in return and give you what you lack"

CHORUS: FEALTY
Do you want power, do you want might?
Do you want a different lady every night?
Do you want diamonds that sparkle like fire?
Just give me your fealty, say what you desire
I said "I'll give you my fealty, I'll sign on the line
But there's just one thing I want to be mine
A flagon of ale to quench my thirst
You'll get what you want if I get that first"

The demon grinned and said "Is that all?
You could have been rich, I think you dropped the ball"
He clapped his hands, and before I could blink
The barman served me a tasty fresh drink
I downed it in one and then I licked my lips
The demon stood there with his hands on his hips
I said "Hey, demon! Now we've made an exchange
why not make another? What can you arrange?"

CHORUS: MIND

"You are a fool" he cried "just one more pint of ale?
I have your mind and you're completely made of fail"
I said "of all I've lost, I miss my mind the least
so conjure up my pint, you big demonic beast"
My bloodstream filled with alcohol, my head filled up with dreams
The demon spawned a twin (or at least that's how it seemed)
The room began to spin around, but I was not afraid
I said "Hey, Mr. Demon, how about another trade?"

CHORUS: BODY

He said "Your body, mind and fealty all belong to me!"
I said "Check out the Demon Code, subsection 14B"
I paused to sup down my ale, to quench my thirst
"All contracts are void if another demon got there first"
My beer armour protects me, gives me courage to defend
My body, mind and fealty belong to a dear old friend
The stranger knew I had him, his heart began to sink
'cos I've already been consumed by the demon they call drink

The demon slinked away, tail between his legs
I watched him go as I drank the final dregs
The landlord said "I like your style, you've courage and you've nouse
from now until forever, your drinks are on the house!"

I don't want power, and I don't want might
I don't want a different lady every night
I don't want diamonds that sparkle like fire
There's only one thing I truly desire
I won't give you anything, won't sign on the line
I'll just sit here drinking until the end of time
An ocean of ale to quench my thirst
I'll drink what I want until I'm fit to burst