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about

Commissioned by Ovard Greatbeard, who is, we presume, a dwarf. He felt that The Offensive Song was a bit offensive (well, duh) about dwarves, and wanted a pro-dwarf song to redress the balance. We were happy to oblige, for a fee. Now all we need is for representatives of the elves, fey, ologs and drow to step forward and cough up, and we'll write nice songs about them as well. We have no shame.

This one was actually deemed good enough to make it onto "Never Mind The Ologs" itself, but we thought we'd give it to you for free in this package as well, because we're nice like that. And seriously, go check out the rest of "Never Mind The Ologs". It's really good. And "A Brick Over Troubled Mortar", which was the original Offensive Song on it.

lyrics

Who's that warrior, with the hammer and the shield?
Will of iron, encased in burnished steel?
Forearms, like his aroma, are both equally strong
Beard down to his ankles, which admittedly is not that long

CHORUS
Facial hair, manners of a bear
Four foot stature and a thousand yard stare
But when he's fighting at your shoulder (Hip!)
You just don't care, 'cause he's a dwarf

He's a dwarf, (he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf)
He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a very dwarfy dwarf)
He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf)
He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a very dwarfy dwarf)

He's a brute! he's hirsute!
He's a gold divining, silver mining
mountain-hewing, master-brewing dwarf

Raised in the echoes of majestic mountain halls
Stories of his forefathers in runes upon the walls
Takes the precious bounty from the belly of the earth
Shapes it into artefacts of vast power and great worth

CHORUS

Piles his plate with comestibles and eats just like a horse
Drinks like a Caledonian and sings just like the Norse
Quaffs horns of honey mead, then downs a yard of ale
Compared to a human that's a yard and half to scale

CHORUS

credits

from Money For Barding, Bricks For Free, released July 18, 2015
By Thorkal Gudbardsson & Lester Starcraft
(OOC: Neil Albrechtsen & Stephen McGreal)

Guitar & Vocals: Neil Albrechtsen
Backing vocals: Stephen McGreal & Sammo Pinney

Recorded by Brendan McGreal @ Black & White Studios, Cornwall

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