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Goblin Sexy Dance

from Never Mind The Ologs by The Bricks

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lyrics

I was in my cell doing five to eight
When they introduced my new cellmate
With skin as green as gangrene on a frog
He said "I need to save my goblin hide
Or this time tomorrow I'll be fried
But we need to get past three guards and a dog

He said "close your eyes so you can't see
I'm going to throw a shape or three
My sexy goblin dance will set us free"
When I opened up my eyes
The dog was bald and paralysed
And the guards had checked into therapy

CHORUS
Goblin sexy dance
Erect a bell tent in your pants
Sexy dance
Your retinas won't stand a chance
Sexy dance
What's been seen can't be unseen
Sexy dance, sexy dance, sexy dance, sexy dance
Once you've gone green you'll never get clean

We were out of jail and on the run
When a vampire tried to spoil our fun
He said "I'm going to suck your jugular"
I said "I'm a bard and he's a goblin
We don't know the first thing about juggling"
And the vampire said "No! I said JugUlar!"

As the vampire made his move
The goblin got into his groove
I used my cloak to cover up my face
He kicked his heels and took some names
The vampire burst out into flames
And left a pile of teeth and burning lace

CHORUS

We holed up in a deep, dark mine
Hoping we could buy some time
But a black and silver rockfall blocked our way
It landed with a might splat
When we poked it, it was quivering fat
A matron mother out to spoil our day

We couldn't get through, couldn't get around
Then the goblin's toes made a tapping sound
As he bust his moves the drow began to drool
Her loins were lusting and her bra was busting
As she gazed at his disgusting thrusting
When he was done there was just an inky pool

CHORUS

Found a carnival on the edge of town
With a bearded lady and a scary clown
They chased us from the freak show to a tent
We ducked inside for a place to hide
But we were surrounded on all sides
By creatures that were tall and thin and bent

He began to twist and spin
But so did his distorted twin
In the Hall of Mirrors, the goblin met his match
He fell in love with his reflected self
And morphed into a prancing elf
I snuck out and left him in his sticky patch

CHORUS

Once you've gone green you'll never get clean
Unless you preen like an elven queen

credits

from Never Mind The Ologs, released March 30, 2015
IC: The Bricks
OOC: Neil Albrechtsen, Sammo Pinney & Stephen McGreal

Vocals: Neil Albrechtsen
Guitar: Neil Albrechtsen
Bass: Neil Albrechtsen
Drums: Flip Wilkes
Dog: Ozzy Ozkins

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