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Commissioned by some anonymous Jackals. A song about the (then) faction Leader, Esteban. Normally we like to ask for a decent amount of information about the subject matter, but in this case we were refused and told to just make it up. Four lagers and a rhyming dictionary later, Lester wrote this monstrosity.

When Esteban heard about the song, he summoned Lester to his command tent and ordered him to play it. Terrified for his life but maintaining his professionalism, Lester did so. Rather than killing him, Esteban gave Lester 20 gold to write a more complementary song about him, and then conveniently died in a transport circle accident shortly afterwards so that Lester didn't have to bother.

lyrics

I was asked to write a song, if I can
About a very special man
I don't know the facts, although I can
Make many rhymes with Esteban

CHORUS:
Esteban! Esteban!
Can he kick it? Yes he can!

He's got a face like a frying pan
Has hit it, he's called Esteban

Some say he's a mouse who thinks he's man
Who is he? He is Esteban

He's not a member of Duran Duran
(Or is he?) The enigma Esteban

His pants are rumoured to smell of jam
Could this be true of Esteban?

Some say he dresses like his gran
Or his mummy (get it? mummy? Jackals, Aegyptus? Oh, never mind) Esteban!

Even though my lyrics might not always quite scan
Let's all make fun of Esteban

Looks great in a kilt of any clan
(He's good good legs, has Esteban)

He has a hamster who is called Suzanne
He's an animal lover, our Esteban

He'll give you an almighty tan
Behold, the Sun-God Esteban!

He's probably not my biggest fan
This song's too weak for Esteban

He'll rapidly cut short my life-span
If he hears this, Esteban

I guess it's time I turned and ran
Lest I be killed by Esteban

CHORUS (repeat until murdered)

credits

from Money For Barding, Bricks For Free, released July 18, 2015
Written & performed by Stephen McGreal

Recorded by Hazel at Purple Pro Studios, Leeds

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