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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Money For Barding, Bricks For Free

by The Bricks

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1.
2.
Esteban 02:42
I was asked to write a song, if I can About a very special man I don't know the facts, although I can Make many rhymes with Esteban CHORUS: Esteban! Esteban! Can he kick it? Yes he can! He's got a face like a frying pan Has hit it, he's called Esteban Some say he's a mouse who thinks he's man Who is he? He is Esteban He's not a member of Duran Duran (Or is he?) The enigma Esteban His pants are rumoured to smell of jam Could this be true of Esteban? Some say he dresses like his gran Or his mummy (get it? mummy? Jackals, Aegyptus? Oh, never mind) Esteban! Even though my lyrics might not always quite scan Let's all make fun of Esteban Looks great in a kilt of any clan (He's good good legs, has Esteban) He has a hamster who is called Suzanne He's an animal lover, our Esteban He'll give you an almighty tan Behold, the Sun-God Esteban! He's probably not my biggest fan This song's too weak for Esteban He'll rapidly cut short my life-span If he hears this, Esteban I guess it's time I turned and ran Lest I be killed by Esteban CHORUS (repeat until murdered)
3.
Die Alone 08:24
In the misty lands of Albion there’s a group that everybody knows If you’re strong in faith and firepower, maybe you can even join the Crows Worshippers and demon wranglers, the finest ritual team you’ve ever known They’ve boasted many heroes but sadly most of them have died alone CHORUS Sail the Ars Moriendi to the isle of Lindisfarne Where Ma Crow will do her best to keep you safe from harm Wield the Iron of Flaming Glory! Pray your death is not too gory! Albion’s our home, we’ll give our lives; defend the throne Join the Crows! (Join the crows!) See the world! (See the world!) And die alone! (Die alone!) Die alone! (Die alone!) Join the Crows! (Join the crows!) See the world! (See the world!) And die alone! (Die alone!) Die alone! (Die alone!) die alone! Jackamo Cassandra was a hero and the founder of the Crows But in York the foul unliving made poor Jackamo lie down and decompose Merlon was the Sheriff, sworn always to Albion defend He got poisoned on the battlefield, and found that he had met a sticky end CHORUS Into a ritual circle stepped a beastkin and an umbral and an elf But unbeknownst to them it was to prove to be a hazard to their health Sathareal, Osuna and Taryn earned respect and admiration But the vapour poison proved that a ritual seal provides no ventilation CHORUS Burdock loved himself, and when he was around you had to watch your back Until some zombies came, pulled out his entrails and had a ghoulish snack Shio was an angry one who wanted to do Harm to Xatabai But the demon tore his kidneys out and made herself a steak and Shio pie CHORUS Cap’n was a ritualist, well known and well respected to his men He got tanked up at a party, went out to pee and was never seen again Orthorian loved knowledge, he was curious and thirsted for the facts But his brains sprayed on the walls whilst he was playing games inside the tesseract CHORUS
4.
Mina, you're wonderful, 'cos you set my world on fire The light in your eyes reminds me of a funeral pyre I don't want to come on too strong, don't want to unnerve But I can't help but fall for a girl who is so well preserved. I gave you my heart, it was to show you just how I feel (Well I didn't need it, it was starting to smell and congeal) So now in return I'd like to ask you for your hand (I mean as in marriage, not as in "wrapped round my gland") CHORUS I'm sorry I find it hard to be romantic The rules have all changed now that we're necromantic I'm asking you now - could you ever marry a fool? I kind of thought that if we were together We could murder and raise all the living forever I don't know 'bout you, but I think that would be cool I think I might love you, and what you represent Thought that might just be a build-up of gases which I need to vent When I was alive it was always the hot girls I craved But now there's nothing hotter than a woman who's cold as the grave Imagine a marriage between House Von Beck and Kaiserstein We could exert political power over these swine I like that you work at the bank, and handle my... cash You could handle my other things too, once I've cleared up the rash CHORUS Are you impressed by guys who have fortune and fame? I have some of both, despite critics saying I'm lame I may have this stupid hat constantly stuck on my head But unlike your previous husband, I'm already undead You should visit my forest, it's a great place to go for a data You can meet my mum too - if you want to help me excavate Ignore all the rumours that I'm secretly a transvest-ite I can only assure you that I'll Be All Wight On The Night CHORUS
5.
He's A Dwarf 04:10
Who's that warrior, with the hammer and the shield? Will of iron, encased in burnished steel? Forearms, like his aroma, are both equally strong Beard down to his ankles, which admittedly is not that long CHORUS Facial hair, manners of a bear Four foot stature and a thousand yard stare But when he's fighting at your shoulder (Hip!) You just don't care, 'cause he's a dwarf He's a dwarf, (he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf) He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a very dwarfy dwarf) He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf, he's a dwarf) He's a dwarf (he's a dwarf, he's a very dwarfy dwarf) He's a brute! he's hirsute! He's a gold divining, silver mining mountain-hewing, master-brewing dwarf Raised in the echoes of majestic mountain halls Stories of his forefathers in runes upon the walls Takes the precious bounty from the belly of the earth Shapes it into artefacts of vast power and great worth CHORUS Piles his plate with comestibles and eats just like a horse Drinks like a Caledonian and sings just like the Norse Quaffs horns of honey mead, then downs a yard of ale Compared to a human that's a yard and half to scale CHORUS
6.
The old man kissed his daughter, and his grandson in her arms And prayed that their passage would be swift and safe from harm She set off on her journey down the rocky mountain road Carrying her baby to the fertile lands below CHORUS The mountain shakes and shudders from its roots up to its crown with a roar like mighty thunder the avalanche rolls down the frost bites like steel and the winds grow fierce and wild A babe wrapped in a blanket of snow, theMountain made this child The old man saw the storm clouds swelling, thick and fast And rushed to find his daughter in the lonely mountain pass He searched up there for hours, battered by the howling gale He found her body like a statue, cold and hard and pale In her arms she held her baby, so small and frail and still Embraced in icy fingers of the mountain’s deathly chill The old man cried out in anguish, loud enough to split the sky When the echoes had subsided, he heard the baby cry CHORUS He carried back the baby to the safety of his keep He prayed the boy would live and would awaken from his sleep An avalanche roared down on the distant mountainside And as if the mountain called to him, the boy opened his eyes They named him Wyndrake Winterheart, he grew tall and strong and broad Master of the hunting knife, the songbook and the sword On the shores of Wintermere, the boy became a man He learned the paths of the Dragonspine, of its people and its clans CHORUS One day he went wandering on the highest windswept fells 
A snowstorm drove him to a cave and sealed it like a cell Two weeks the mountain held him, whispered secrets bold and strange When it finally released him, he was forever changed With Pendragon in his blood and Excalibur in his hand The mountain in his heart and a love for his homeland A true child of the Dragonspine, from Wintermere he came The mountain shaped the boy and the man that he became CHORUS

about

Making money as a bard is hard work. You may think that those couple of copper you chuck at them across a campfire is enough to keep them in guitar strings and oversized trousers, but you'd be wrong. We've got bills to feed, mouths to pay, and we have... Certain expensive tastes.

We make a lot of our money by writing specific commissioned songs for people. Mostly people ask for mawkish love songs, of no interest to anyone except the recipient, but every now and then we get a commission that results in something interesting. In the course of the Brickstarter campaign for "Never Mind The Ologs" we wrote a few such songs. The patrons who commissioned them have kindly agreed to let us share them with you, for free!

All we ask for in exchange is:

- To consider paying some money anyway, because all our music costs more to record and release than you'd imagine and we're skint.

- To spend some time on our Bandcamp checking out our other stuff and to consider buying that. It's really very good.

- Your eternal adoration and devotion

- Your first-born child

credits

released July 18, 2015

The Bricks are:

Lester Starcraft (aka Stephen McGreal)
Thorkal Gudbardsson (aka Neil Albrechtsen)
Cassius (aka Sammo Pinney)

Recorded by:
Justin French (tracks 1, 3, 4 and 6)
Hazel Plummer @ Purple Pro Audio, Leeds (track 2)
Brendan McGreal @ Black & White, Cornwall (track 5)
Mastered by Brendan McGreal

Cover image by Stephen McGreal
Photo editing by Hamish Frater
Bricks logo by David "Zaphod" Moss

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